Stop and think for a second about what is ultimately convenient for you.
Some examples can range from your childhood/parents household, your little stuffed teddy bear that you've had since birth, your most comfortable pair of shoes, your favorite special latte from Starbucks, oh and maybe that ex-boyfriend who pops in to your head on a 'go-to' safety basis.
Just saw this amazing post from a friend on Facebook and had to share.
6 Reasons to NOT go back with your Ex.
Now tell me everything about #3 doesn't completely hit home with you now, or at some desperate stage in your life............ Okay then. Lets move forward and start from scratch!
Now don't we all just hate the dating process. Yes. The untimely, annoying process, where you actually have to care about being cute and spontaneous. The awkward first encounters, usually set up by close friends. Meeting somebody you know nothing about. Will they like my hair? Will they open the car door? Pay for the meal?
Oh
my
Gosh.
... Will we kiss?
Probably one of the most undeniably terrifying experiences, is a first date. We are afraid we won’t impress and sell our best attributes. Like buying a new car, you browse, you browse again, do your research, see something you like, take it for a test drive, and if you like it you take it home and take care of it and keep it happily ever after, you hope. Nobody tries to present themselves in a negative light when they meet somebody with potential for the first time. We all like to show off. The point where we cross the line is when we attempt to be something we in fact, are not. Because Lord knows if the male doesn't make a 90k+ salary a year, chances are the hot diva he took out isn't going to bat another eyelash. What a superficial mess.
Society has drawn out a master plan in our brains of what we feel we need in a long term relationship. Well I’m here to tell you, it is possible to make this easy on yourself. If he or she is Mr. or Mrs. Right, it won’t be something evident on the first date or encounter that you have. Establishing an emotional connection is key to any long lasting relationship. To be comfortable enough to be yourself with no pressures from either person is what keeps the love alive. Nobody remembers the glittering piece of jewelry that you wore on your neck, or how perfectly positioned your eyeliner was. And nobody remembers the perfect amount of cologne you dropped on your neck, or the snug little tie that you practiced for hours in front of the mirror to get just right. You ask any couple, and they’ll remember the quirky little things that you paid no attention too.
Another important piece of advice. DO. NOT. BE. AFRAID. TO. BE. ALONE. Some of our best and most spiritually and mentally enhancing years, are spent by ourselves. Indulging in what makes you happy and loving yourself for who YOU are, and not what others want you to be.
However, as much as I enjoy being alone, I do not enjoy becoming lost in loneliness. I used to wonder if I was the only person on this planet who was born unworthy of love and companionship. I just didn't feel like I deserved it. It got to the point where I hated it, so much that I just wanted to love nothing. My search was for something at the time I didn't know existed. My need for intimacy was amongst my search for intimacy. This is all rooted in community, relationship, friendship and acceptance in yourself. We long to belong. This is what we are created for, to unify and connect, and sometimes this happens in the most inconsistent ways.
You can’t force love, it’s there or it’s not. And if it’s not, it’s because you aren't comfortable. I've realized that you can’t go after perfection or ‘entertain’ perfection or what is necessarily ‘idea;’ because that doesn't fit your life. What fits your life is what kind of people you connect too, to help make yourself a stronger, better and stable person. What is there to talk about? It should be give and take in a strong relationship and you are bound to feel like you’re giving 90% if you don’t let yourself go fully. As much as it is the hardest thing to do, it’s the only thing to do, if you’re going to do it full heartily. That is a consequence you take when you love someone. And love is full of consequences. Four simple letters that articulate a lifetime of feeling. You will always be connected with the people you love and always will be bonded by emotion that is greater than your control, because it is supposed to be. It’s something that you initially need to ask yourself. Do they deserve to go in and see the gaping hole in your heart? Or are you going to make it impossible for them, because deep down you don’t want it to work. You are a lost soul that doesn't want to be found. This is where self seeking and awareness and escaping the idea of whats familiar within yourself, is a key structure to begin a relationship with. Although it is never sturdy and always needs support, it is something that needs to be there to hold on to something else. We are all very shape-able molds, easily influenced, highly dependent on others. Although it would be nice and easy to be a one man show that did everything on their own with no fear of getting hurt, or even worse, failing. We are not invincible. We are not alone.
Happy Sunny Monday P&P's.. Know your worth!
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