You are what you do, repeatedly.

Call me a dreamer. 
Call me an intuitive fool. 
Call me idealistic, or hopeful, or far-fetched. 
Go ahead and call me unrealistic. 

I've heard it. Swear.

I see a vision for my future. I see it bright and I see it clear. I see what it feels like to be walking my dog, 5 years from now. I see what I'm wearing. I even smell what it feels like outside. I see the people I am surrounded around as I walk by. I see happiness and I feel alive. 

I trust with all my being that because I see this and because I feel it, I persistently will fuel so much passion towards my personal finish line that I will not stop until my heart fulfills what my heart desires. 

My craving to reach success in my pursuit of personal happiness, is something that I don't brush upon lightly. It is my life to live and most importantly it is my responsibility to honor myself. 

With this I plan to prove the odds.

Personal happiness happens within your state of mind. 
If that isn't extreme responsibility, forgive me while I run to wash my dishes. 

What makes me, breaks me. And what scares me, drives me.
This is my vicious cycle.

The control that I seek is to visualize this picture so clearly. To know that it is up to me.
I watch on the big screen, but I also live on the stage. 

I  realize that through the process of getting towards the future you envision, life happens.
It happens hard and it happens fast.

My one awful test grade does not define me..
Make that a handful test grades.

What I say in haste does not define me.

How I perform on the field during a Sunday game day does not define me.

And eating a chocolate double fudge brownie sundae, probably just means that I really love to splurge on some melted heaven every now and then.

My choice is to see a happy future for myself. 
My choice is to care about my personal life. 

My choice to wake up and breathe in the air of what I love to do and my choice to believe this is all possible defines me. Repeatedly.


If you're reading this. Thank you for believing in me. And if you don't. Thank you for being my motivation.

City treks & styrofoam cups

Polite and composed, I graciously offered up my seat to a frail and fragile elder woman with sparkling grey hair, wearing a vintage red pea-coat and a cozy beige scarf. She was carrying a grocery bag and struggling to board. 

Newsflash.
I am no perfect citizen.
I am not the most gracious and genuine human being. 
I just know that if someone didn't pay the same respect to my Grandmother 

I would raise absolute Hell. 

A week prior, as I was getting up for my stop, a young man deliberately raced ahead of an older woman for my seat, grabbed for his headphones to plug in and threw his hood over his head to pretend he was sleeping.

I couldn't tell if I was more appalled by his deliberate lack of common sense, or the fact that now-a-days etiquette, compassion, and simple manners, are nothing more than a selfish attempt for a comfier ride. 

I see, I hear, and I take in a variety of different scenarios each and every day. I take the time to listen to stories, watch couples interact and observe peoples mannerisms, all while sipping my morning coffee and gazing at the city scenery outside.  I take great pleasure in my quiet time to just observe. And ever-so-Lindsea-like.. 
Jot down how I feel about it. 

Today's latest and greatest begins with this memo and reflection on why I feel so drawn to write.

"There came to a point where there wasn't any space left in my head, I had to get it out, I had to release them. I had to write these damn things off my mind. After that, things just seemed to flow more easily. What followed was action, which I've come to learn now is the greater half of the battle. The part I thought would do itself, but never did. I craved to prove these thoughts that were conceived in my head, born on paper, and alive on Earth. As Mother Teresa said, "Let us touch the dying, the poor, the lonely and the unwanted, according to the graces we have received. Let us not be ashamed of slow to do the humble work."

Do not be afraid, embarrassed, or shy to make an appropriate statement.
If you see wrong, address it.
If you see right, praise it.


xo. Love and Humbleness p&p's

  

Pup Priorities

In honor of my new fur baby, let me remind us all of the importance in simplicity. 
The basics,
the necessities,
Those little things that are most of the time all we need and more.

I read in a poem called, 'a Dogs Purpose,' the elements of these simple appreciations. 

“If a dog was the teacher you would learn things like: 

When loved ones come home, always run to greet them. 

Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.  

Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy. 

Take naps. 

Stretch before rising.

 Run, romp, and play daily. 

Thrive on attention and let people touch you. 

Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.

On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.. On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.  

When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body. 

Delight in the simple joy of a long walk. 

Be loyal. 

Never pretend to be something you're not.

 If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it. 

When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them gently.

 ENJOY EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY.” 

I think this is a great thing for us to remember. Much like a child’s mind, carefree and vulnerable. 

Now go on and be a Pup, my friends.

Before you go, meet Kolby, my little Golden prince.
xo

Hey you, it's me.. You.

“This brings me to the problem with love. It woos you in like a lamb headed toward the slaughter. It steals your heart with promises that seem almost too good to be true, and then you discover that was exactly right.”

We are victims of blaming our circumstances in regards to how bitter our hearts are, our souls are, but I've thought and I've thought a lot. 

What would I say now to all the people that did me wrong in my past, did me wrong today, and will do me wrong in the future. But the true test is, 'how will I react to the same people that broke me down and told me I couldn't?' 

When all is said and done we can think it won’t matter at the end of the day. You know, make amends, and let it roll of your shoulders. Have a calm peace of mind and come out a little better. 

The truth is it hurts and sometimes it’s going to hurt a little harder then you expected. 

But the only thing bitterness will do is blind you from seeing clearly into a world that’s filled with love and compassion. Bitterness is loves enemy. It causes you to live with a detached, unforgiving mentality; unable and incapable to see any love at all. 

I think at one point or another we have all been blinded by a bitter haze in our souls.. 
Keep your eyes open and remained planted in stability. Karma has a mysterious way of holding your hand in support while you do the right things. As much as we’d all love to see the bullies, the assholes, the guy that cut you off on the highway this morning, or that first love that broke your heart, get sprayed by a muddy tire and left stranded on a deserted island with no food, clothes or water.. 
Remember to have forgiveness.

At points in our own lives we will degrade people, sometimes intentionally, sometimes not. We will be hypocrites, liars, thieves, bullies and cheaters. We are all sinners, imperfect and human. We are also brothers and sisters of an accepting and understanding God who gave us the ability to love and learn from each other as equals. He has patience with each and every one of us if we bring Him into our hearts and let Him. 

In the process of your journey you will coincidentally learn more about yourself then you’d ever like to find out. It’s scary and it’s definitely not easy. 

Don’t stop your search. Seek every bit of unbearable truth that you can uncover about yourself.

The process of self discovery is the road less traveled by. What you find for the first time is that of which was already initially there. Don’t be afraid to question yourself. Under every flaw, and every fault, our relationships with ourselves are above all others. You are an in depth and diverse spirit. 

Seek your journey.

xo

Melt your armor

I am in fact one of those people that jots down memos, phrases, topics, ideas, conversations, and daily bits of information on any paper available to me at the time of inspiration. Which is more than often. 

For instance. I turned over a grocery store receipt today with the words,

 'Don't be afraid of your personality.'

To be extra honest, I have no idea how or when this sparked me, (By the date of my 30$ purchase, it states September 10th.) but as does all inspiration. Therefore, I feel compelled to discuss just what this means to me. 

It takes a lot of guts to believe you fit in, and if you don't, to understand and believe that as well. The most amazing feeling I have ever felt was the feeling of belonging. Being amongst people that loved, accepted, and appreciated me for every flaw and and fault of my character. Being mindful of this has only made me more thankful for my frail, fragile, and ferocious personality.

For me, it got to the point where I became exhausted, tired, and drained from covering up my personality in order to fit in. I wanted, I craved, and I needed to show whoever it was, who I really was, and how I became as passionate about life as I am. The armor, the tension and the invisible cloak I impulsively threw on when I was in front of a new crowd, became too heavy to carry. 

What a terrifying feeling. Not being comfortable with who you are, what you stand for, or what you believe in. 

In a world that's constantly molding your thoughts and shaping your being. Stretching your persona every which way..

Stand grounded.

Your mentality is yours to own. You are who you say you are. Even if no one else believes in that. Remember who you are, remember where you come from.  You are loved and you are important. Be strong, mindful, and do not fear your personality. 

I believe in mantra, kindness and karma.

I believe in honoring who YOU are.

the weekend welcomes you,

xoL

Be Still. Day One.

I started my 21 Day Meditation Challenge tonight, and successfully made it through a whole 10 minutes of personal silence.

One of the most seemingly difficult things I've ever done, which I mistakenly perceived to be 'a piece of cake.' 

No cake what-so-ever. 

However, it was beyond sensational. And post-awakening, as I lifted my eyelids open and came back in to the space, I was overwhelmed by the positivity and well-being that blanketed over me. Mind, body and soul. 

So what do I feel about myself? What are reoccurring things in my stressful thoughts?

My inspiration for this personal challenge, is based on my perception of an ideal well-being and lifestyle. I've come to realize that change is more than a thought. It is more than a hope. It is more than an internal desire.

It is a process that involves an incredible amount of time, energy, and difficulty. Positive change, is not necessarily easy. Like I have noted about my personality before, I consider myself an 'introverted, extrovert.' Specifically to me, this is a mix of desire in keeping my thoughts to my self, while wanting to share my thoughts to the world, at the same time. 

My passions don't make me a unique person. My ability to express them, without fear of judgment and despise, does. 

In self reflection, it’s interesting what you’ll find buried in your past if you search hard enough. Stories. Our lives are composed of wonderful stories. Ones we are scared to ever tell again, and some that we tell so often we simply will never forget. Since I was a little girl, I've had a driving passion to change something about the world. Headstrong and fearless, nobody could really tell me otherwise. As I’ve grown up I've learned that dreams are only dreams until you put forth the hard work and effort it requires to result in action. I've come to the conclusion that maybe changing the whole world is extreme. But changing lives isn't. Even if its just your own. To want to live better, healthier, longer, and with more drive, you radiate a reflection that others can't turn away from. I want to be a helping hand, a warm heart, a steady shoulder and a voice for those unable to use their own. Living in silence is a terrifying thing, as is reflecting in silence. Hence, meditation is scary and exhausting. Think of it as going for a long run, physically pounding the pavement, heavy breathing, just waiting to reach the finish line or counting the minutes till your desired time elapses. But after, the wave of positivity and gratefulness that flows through your body. You did  it. And although your tired, exhausted, and finished for the day. You feel great and alive. 

Without inspiration and having people who truly believed in my abilities, my dream to make a difference in the world would have never been an aspiration that I craved to reach. Passion and the opportunity of positive change are what drive me to believe the world would be such a better place if everyone used their hearts and minds to love and accept one another, as well as themselves. Let it be okay to let go and open your internal eyes, through your heart.

A few things to leave you with today.

Who are you? What do you want? What is your purpose?

P.S (The answers will be harder than you think.. 

And that's okay.)

xoL.

Join me on my challenge, and experience the benefits of internal reflection, silence, and positive change. http://www.chopracentermeditation.com/bestsellers/MEDITATION_WINTER_2012/register.asp

'Peace of mind, Peace on Earth'

Just remember, whenever possible, give people the benefit of the doubt.

I'm working on my patience, I'm working on my self-doubt. I'm working on me.

I am a work in progress.

Nowhere near perfect, nowhere near acceptable. 

Just in constant reflection of my capabilities, my limits, and the depth of my heart. 

If you like yourself, you're conceded. If you despise yourself, you're depressed.

Now honestly, 
tell me how people are supposed to be truly happy..? 

We must learn these things about ourselves, before we are capable of learning them about others. God is so simple. And, we, we are beyond complex. 

One of my favorite sayings is, 

'Keep calm in the center of the storm.'

Years ago, you couldn't convince me this was at all possible. But, beyond the people pleasing, the hatred, the betrayal, the heartache, the denial, and the chaos, I found a stable ground. A place where only I can go. A sacred and peaceful spot in my conscience, where I could freely believe in myself. That had no judgment, no shame. Just clarity. 

I don't know how I found it. But, I'm convinced we all find this little piece of heaven when we are ready and able to experience it's effects. 

A great trial in my life, was looking around at the world with all of its irony, drudgery, and betrayal. And knowing I was a contributor. 

A great satisfaction in my life, was realizing and accepting that life is scary as Hell. And none of your thoughts and actions can be taken back. Only accepted, and used for growth. 

The importance of a helping hand, a comfortable embrace, and a patient ear, is becoming more and more real to me.

Sometimes all someone really needs is for you to listen to them. Remember this next time your younger sibling is pestering you with busy and agitating conversation, or your old friend from high-school wants to meet up for a chat and coffee. Remember this next time you are begging God for a blessing or a sign that someone, somewhere out there, can possibly understand what you are going through. 

You never truly know the extent of someones storm.

Until you stop, look, and listen to the heavy rain.

At this point, you might just be able to find clarity in your own. 

xo. 

Antsy Addicts

In the wise words of Bobby Dylan himself,

“Sometimes you say things in songs even if there's a small chance of them being true. And sometimes you say things that have nothing to do with the truth of what you want to say and sometimes you say things that everyone knows to be true. Then again, at the same time, you're thinking that the only truth on earth is that there is no truth on it. Whatever you are saying, you're saying in a ricky-tick way. There's never time to reflect. You stitched and pressed and packed and drove, is what you did. It's peculiar and unnerving in a way to see so many young people walking around with cell phones and iPod's in their ears and so wrapped up in media and video games. It robs them of their self-identity. It's a shame to see them so tuned out to real life. Of course they are free to do that, as if that's got anything to do with freedom. The cost of liberty is high, and young people should understand that before they start spending their life with all those gadgets." 

I'm so freaking guilty.

Once upon a time, back in my college days,  I mistakenly forgot my trusty Blackberry on my walk to class from my residence. My first initial thought was 'How in the world will I make it today (4 hours) without tweeting/status creeping/texting/calling all these important people, that I truly know nothing about.' On the flip side of this, I was able to gaze at my fellow student body parading back and forth to their classes, heads down, in a trance with their newest form of technology. It was literally like a sea full of zombies. Nobody was interacting or communicating; except with their fingers and thumbs clicking away or their headphones on, zoned out to the world. I was appalled. Is this what I look like when I’m sending an important text that can’t wait? Or having a conversation that’s so much more important then saying a quick 'Hey' to a teammate on my way to class? 

We've become not just attached to our social media, but dependent on it. With what’s going on and what people are saying about others. From our apps on our brand new Iphones that have the potential to light a candle for us, we’ve become victims of an electronic world. We are our own apps, updating ourselves to the newer and the better. 


It was the famous Steve Jobs that assisted in the creation of Apple technology. I wish I could have conducted an interview with him to ask him if this is what he expected of our culture. This craze that has turned into a dependency. Or was it just a constructive idea to help with the development, the post modern term ‘making it new.’ Are we still making it ‘new’ or are we making it unreal. 

I forgot what it felt like to sit by a campfire, listening to a friend strum the guitar and sing a familiar tune. 
I forgot what it felt like to have a sit down lunch with an old group of friends the other week, and leave my phone in the car.
I forgot what it felt like to reflect, be by myself, and leave my functions, schedule, and responsibilities to themselves in my square little white box of electronic capacity.

It felt so freaking awesome.

“It’s not about pop culture, and it’s not about fooling people, and it’s not about convincing people that they want something they don’t. We figure out what we want. And I think we’re pretty good at having the right discipline to think through whether a lot of other people are going to want it, too. That’s what we get paid to do.”- CNN Money

Wear 'Yes' on your Heart: Self Love

It is my dream to be a journalist. It is my dream to travel. And it is my dream to help somebody enough to change their life. 

A writer I know who I met in the most unusual circumstance came in to my life at the most desirable time. We met on the social networking website, Twitter. A random request from a man I've never met in my life, which would soon change a large part of it. We got to talking, sharing our views on life, and writing, and the significant influences we've encountered in our lives. I felt like I knew this man. He later offered to send me his book, sharing his personal story to me, a stranger. I didn't need to trust him; I didn't need to pour my soul. I just felt his passion as we developed conversation about our views on love, and tough experiences. I told him about my walk with God, and where I stood weary and unclear at times. He brought this to my attention in one of his books,

"The Bible tells us that, 'to love is to be willing to die for what we love', but many of us don’t even like ourselves enough to protect ourselves from harm. To simplify this point further, would you risk your life to save your parents?  Would you be willing to fight for the honor of your best friend? With your answers in mind, ask yourself this: What hardship in your life are you allowing yourself to endure? It is all too common that we fight for the well-being of everyone except ourselves. We claim to love ourselves, yet we stay in bad relationships, we allow people to belittle and degrade us, and we put up with people giving us less than we deserve but just enough to keep us around. You see, the easiest way to gauge how much you really love yourself is by taking an honest look at your life and counting the unnecessary pains and burdens that you are refusing to cut out of your life, even while they are destroying it. Most people would say that they have a healthy love for themselves without having a clear idea of what it means to love. Love is the simplest truth, yet the hardest thing to properly describe; in fact, everyone seems to have their own description, even though the Bible gave us the perfect one." 

- J.L Ford

http://itunes.apple.com/us/book/wear-yes-on-your-heart/id464847841?mt=11

Re-evaluate your character.

xo.

Chemistry class & Angels in Stripes.

I met an angel dressed most likely in stripes, leggings, and a trendy pair of boots, at the most unexpected point of time in my life. In a college chemistry class.. That I took on accident. Made it out with a C, and a beautiful friend.

I’d like to explain just how chaotic my life was up until this point. I was in a toxic relationship, struggling to see myself as a useful human being, and going through the motions of my life. My personal life was on the verge of deteriorating, and the highlight of my day was making it through the day without breaking down. My heart was bitter. I had lost track of my mind. I didn't know who I was anymore. I shut everybody out. The only person that could control me was the one who had taken my soul and locked the door inside me so it couldn’t get back in. I was awakened by a touch and a soft-spoken voice of a girl who would soon be my mentor through one of the hardest times in my life. 

People talk all the time about being drawn to unexpected people at particular points in our life. When we need them the most. Some may think it’s superficial, but these people to me are angels. God given. It was a night in February where I poured my heart out to a girl I didn't even know. But sometimes, that’s the thing that matters the least. A complete stranger took my heart and reminded me where to put it. 

As I was reading out of my journal today, I brought myself back to the night we understood each other and where our hearts met for the first time. I've kept a diary religiously, almost every day, since I was 11. Almost 10 years recording loss, fear, heartache, happiness, and love. People come into your life, but it’s your choice as to where you place them or how long you let them stay. And just because they’ve been there with you through a hard time doesn't mean they have to be there all the time. I had no doubt in my mind that from that day forward, this girl would have a significant place in my heart for the rest of my life. She cried with me, she reasoned with me, and she helped me realize that perfection doesn’t come out of how many people’s lives you can save, but rather the fact that you save your own in the process. Actually, whether you believe it or not, you have a significant impact on every life you take the time to understand. I felt secure and comforted in her presence. 

It’s not the friends you talk to everyday or the best friend that you made in first grade that you bought friendship bracelets with and promised to live beside each other when you’re old and wrinkly and have your kids be best friends to carry on your legacy. We change and we grow up. And sometimes this means outgrowing the people you thought would be there for the rest of your life. You meet beautiful blessings, and strong role models. No matter where these angels are in your future, I want you to understand, they will never be strangers to you. I don’t have to talk to my angel’s every day, or see their face every day to feel them in my heart. They are often in the same positions as you are. Victims of the most peculiar circumstances, but I’ve come to realize that often we see the brightest light in the darkest tunnels. She was that light that I needed. We were both lucky enough to be born brave. It’s our greatest attribute, as well as our biggest downfall. I praise her strength. In a time where her heart was just as battered and bruised as mine was. She fought for me. She battled my demons with me, holding my hand in the process. She helped save my soul. Even in our darkest moments, the times when we threaten ourselves into believing that nothing or nobody can change the way we see things to the point God can’t even seem real. He sends you little gifts, with smiling faces. Some of us are lucky enough to be born brave and not by burden. Not through despair, or loss. Not by heartbreak and not from weakness, or regret, or mistake. But because something higher then our Being knew what we'd sacrifice for being true to ourselves.  

I try and tell all my friends who encounter dark periods in their lives that as much as you try to be the friend that everyone needs, I will be the same friend to you. I’m here to listen to you, to understand you, and to reason with you. Never be afraid to open your heart up, and let someone see your soul. You might not want to listen to me, and I might sound entirely hypocritical. But the real person inside somebody is the best part about them. And I say ‘part’ because it’s not the side you like to show off. You’d rather smile and help and save and support the ones you love. As torturous as it is to hear, you simply can’t carry everyone. They won’t know how to walk when you put them down. Open your heart, and let someone take it all in to love it. 

Don’t be scared to need somebody. Believe it or not, you’re a dime a dozen. Learn to understand, learn to be still and silent. Learn to listen, and you will uncover more than you could ever imagine. 

..Thankful.

Home is where the Heart is

It happened on the side of the road one day. 

A road that we were both so familiar with. It led from one town to the other and gave me just enough time to think about all I had to think about, and forget all that I had to think about when I got there. 

My best friend and I would take turns driving each other to school in the morning, leaving just a bit early to get some world famous Tim Horton’s coffee, but still arriving fashionably late to our first class of the day. And just about all the rest of them. I remember these days like a vivid photograph. No matter the day, no matter the weather, no matter if we were sick, sad, pissed, or exhausted. We shared this moment with each other. This ritual, every single day of our senior year in high school. It felt like home to me. I was familiar with it. And as we grow up and develop into well structured human beings, we all seek to have something comfortable to fall back on, something that we know is always going to stay the same, even if we change. My mother always told me that home doesn't necessarily have to be where you grew up, which house you lived in the longest, or where all your friends were closest to you. Home is where your 'stuff' is. It's where your family is. You can be anywhere in the world, but if you have your prized possessions and your family beside you. You are home. I think this is all something we take for granted. We've been told before as children, don’t take for granted the clothes on your back, or the roof over your head, because some children don’t get to experience as much as you do. And truth is, they’re all right. My parents took me on a drive down the streets of Vancouver when I was about 13 years old. Young, wild and free, and using every available excuse to get what I wanted in my sweet little princess attitude. What I saw was beyond revealing. I didn’t know what it meant, but I knew it wasn’t nice and I knew it wasn’t good. I never knew what shooting up meant or snorting coke, or blow was. I never knew what prostitution or a hooker was. And I certainly never thought it was possible to see children, my age, starving and laying on the street with just a shredded blanket on, to cover them up on the rainiest, most bone-chilling day. It was one of the realest experiences I had, in exposing how lucky I really was. 

There is so much going on in our world that we unfortunately play shy too, because thinking about how unfortunate peoples circumstances are, would most definitely deteriorate our own. Of course we instantly feel pain and sorrow when the worldwide starving children donation commercials come on our televisions, of course we want to adopt a puppy from the shelter when we pass by a sad looking mutt on the street. We all want to better others lives because internally it makes ours seem better. We feel more privileged for things that we have, that others don’t. This is compassion. This is something a lot of people know, but consistently neglect to show. The fact of the matter is, it doesn’t need to be delivered with spending your savings on charities, although that is a thoughtful and blessed initiation. Compassion comes with smiling at strangers, singing songs with elder people, playing with your little cousin, nephew, or niece at the park. We ripple and radiate love, when we do small things in abundance. It’s a win, win situation. You will seek peace in your heart that is displayed throughout the whole world. The fact that I have the opportunity to go home, and love my family with all that I have, is a blessing in its own. Have you ever seen the look on your mothers face when you go up and hug her and tell her how beautiful she looks (the first initial response might be, ‘okay what did you do? or what do you want’) but in reality, every single mothers/fathers day card, note, or special present I made for my parents, is kept in their dresser drawers as keepsakes for the appreciation of all their hard work as parents.

It is a beautiful feeling to love and be loved in return. Make small adjustments on your compassion meter. Do the right thing when no one is watching for this will turn to bless you when all the people are joined in peace and harmony, doing the same, at the end of the day.

Love & Tons of Smiles. xo

Checkmate, Soulmates.

Ever think about the day you’ll run in to your soul mate. The one of your dreams who you’ve been searching for?

I may be the luckiest person in the word to have already met some of my soul sisters. And I’m even convinced I still haven’t met all of them yet.

I've come to find my soul mates come in all shapes and sizes. Not just one either, but many, that I've met along the way. Those that are there for me at the perfect times, just as I am there for them. 

People walk in and out of your life. They always will. Nothing is permanent, nothing stays. However, how they made you feel at that period of time does. How they made you change for the better and corrected your direction and changed your path. That is what a soul mate does. Someone once told me,

"People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave. A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual, eternal, master." 

The hardest part of any friendship is when it's time to say goodbye. These never last forever, as hard as they are. As much as we might like things to stay the same, change is an inevitable part of life. The universe may seem huge and the rift between friends on opposite sides of the world may seem a great distance. There are many tools available, with which we can communicate, but even without these tools there is a secret that only real friends know, and it is this. All the mountains and valleys in the world cannot separate friends whose hearts are as one. Truthfully, I'm really good at goodbyes. There really easy for me. I've accepted them. But only because I know that they truly don't exist. If you love somebody and care about them enough, your relationship is eternal, it can fade, but it can never disappear. 

"It's only appealing, because it's familiar"

In reference to this 'Post Title.'

Stop and think for a second about what is ultimately convenient for you. 

Some examples can range from your childhood/parents household, your little stuffed teddy bear that you've had since birth, your most comfortable pair of shoes, your favorite special latte from Starbucks, oh and maybe that ex-boyfriend who pops in to your head on a 'go-to' safety basis. 

Just saw this amazing post from a friend on Facebook and had to share.

6 Reasons to NOT go back with your Ex.


Now tell me everything about #3 doesn't completely hit home with you now, or at some desperate stage in your life............ Okay then. Lets move forward and start from scratch!

Now don't we all just hate the dating process. Yes. The untimely, annoying process, where you actually have to care about being cute and spontaneous. The awkward first encounters, usually set up by close friends. Meeting somebody you know nothing about. Will they like my hair? Will they open the car door? Pay for the meal? 
Oh 
my 
Gosh.
... Will we kiss? 

Probably one of the most undeniably terrifying experiences, is a first date. We are afraid we won’t impress and sell our best attributes. Like buying a new car, you browse, you browse again, do your research, see something you like, take it for a test drive, and if you like it you take it home and take care of it and keep it happily ever after, you hope. Nobody tries to present themselves in a negative light when they meet somebody with potential for the first time. We all like to show off. The point where we cross the line is when we attempt to be something we in fact, are not. Because Lord knows if the male doesn't make a 90k+ salary a year, chances are the hot diva he took out isn't going to bat another eyelash. What a superficial mess. 

Society has drawn out a master plan in our brains of what we feel we need in a long term relationship. Well I’m here to tell you, it is possible to make this easy on yourself. If he or she is Mr. or Mrs. Right, it won’t be something evident on the first date or encounter that you have. Establishing an emotional connection is key to any long lasting relationship. To be comfortable enough to be yourself with no pressures from either person is what keeps the love alive. Nobody remembers the glittering piece of jewelry that you wore on your neck, or how perfectly positioned your eyeliner was. And nobody remembers the perfect amount of cologne you dropped on your neck, or the snug little tie that you practiced for hours in front of the mirror to get just right. You ask any couple, and they’ll remember the quirky little things that you paid no attention too.


Another important piece of advice. DO. NOT. BE. AFRAID. TO. BE. ALONE. Some of our best and most spiritually and mentally enhancing years, are spent by ourselves. Indulging in what makes you happy and loving yourself for who YOU are, and not what others want you to be. 

However, as much as I enjoy being alone, I do not enjoy becoming lost in loneliness. I used to wonder if I was the only person on this planet who was born unworthy of love and companionship. I just didn't feel like I deserved it. It got to the point where I hated it, so much that I just wanted to love nothing. My search was for something at the time I didn't know existed. My need for intimacy was amongst my search for intimacy. This is all rooted in community, relationship, friendship and acceptance in yourself. We long to belong. This is what we are created for, to unify and connect, and sometimes this happens in the most inconsistent ways.

You can’t force love, it’s there or it’s not. And if it’s not, it’s because you aren't comfortable. I've realized that you can’t go after perfection or ‘entertain’ perfection or what is necessarily ‘idea;’ because that doesn't fit your life. What fits your life is what kind of people you connect too, to help make yourself a stronger, better and stable person. What is there to talk about? It should be give and take in a strong relationship and you are bound to feel like you’re giving 90% if you don’t let yourself go fully. As much as it is the hardest thing to do, it’s the only thing to do, if you’re going to do it full heartily. That is a consequence you take when you love someone. And love is full of consequences. Four simple letters that articulate a lifetime of feeling. You will always be connected with the people you love and always will be bonded by emotion that is greater than your control, because it is supposed to be. It’s something that you initially need to ask yourself. Do they deserve to go in and see the gaping hole in your heart? Or are you going to make it impossible for them, because deep down you don’t want it to work. You are a lost soul that doesn't want to be found. This is where self seeking and awareness and escaping the idea of whats familiar within yourself, is a key structure to begin a relationship with. Although it is never sturdy and always needs support, it is something that needs to be there to hold on to something else. We are all very shape-able molds, easily influenced, highly dependent on others. Although it would be nice and easy to be a one man show that did everything on their own with no fear of getting hurt, or even worse, failing. We are not invincible. We are not alone.




Happy Sunny Monday P&P's.. Know your worth!

I Believe in the Power of You and I

I do not have a religion, but I am religious. 
I am not a part of any ‘ism’s’ or ‘anitys.’ 
I do not attend a youth group, or the same church every Sunday. 
I do not wear a cross on my neck, nor do I have any type of symbol that abides by a tradition, on my body.

I do however, submit myself to what I love to do and to who I love and this has taken a great deal of faith all together. 

One thing I’m certain of is the power that holds us, joins us all together, that we can feel but can’t see. I don’t have to believe in a particular religion to know that I exist, God exists, and love exists. I am aware that until I was able to see God in my heart, the absence of God in my heart was not a life that made sense to me. I have seen many miracles, and I have been blessed with many miracles. Life is not a coincidence. It is not a cluster of uncertainty thrown together in a blender and shaken up. It is a quest for meaning, a journey along a path that is so much clearer when you hold a hand that loves you. 

This may make people uncomfortable, the fact that I have beliefs that I choose not to categorize. I however, am uncomfortable with the fact that some feel the crucial need to categorize their beliefs. I have friends of every color, race, and religion. I have been to churches and worship led conferences in my community and even outside of my country. I have seen people be blessed by faith and show their faith to the Lord, and I have seen people that would rather hate the world than show faith to anything. The paths and journeys they take, are not mine. We shouldn't be told where to go on these paths because then, it wouldn't be our own walk to learn about who we are as an individual. Yes we can be led, and yes of course we are guided and influenced by those surrounding us. But we are horses that must drink the water we are led to, by ourselves. We must experience for ourselves what we discover on our journeys. 

If you think about it in depth, the greatest gift we can give to ourselves is self-accomplishment. Simply because nobody can do what you poured your heart into with hard work and determination. This is your personal accreditation. And doesn't that feel amazing? Busting your ass and using your God given talent to really excel in something. Something that others thought you would fail at. And failure happens. Many, many times before succeeding does. But to succeed fully is to accomplish the task that drives you so hard, that your talent mixed with focus and faith and ambition, cannot be touched. This is your accreditation to keep. This is your own personal accomplishment. And nobody can take that away from you. At the end of the day giving the glory to God who blessed you with all the tools you had to work with and the faith to believe you could assemble them together, is enough. You did it, you’ll do it, and you’ll keep doing it. And now doesn't that just feel amazing?

Love and Luck.  xo 

“A life not lived for others is not a life.”

When hate consumes our hearts, we are prone to destroy. 

Inevitably, we are surrounded in violent environments. Sometimes we see so much viciousness, death, and distraught, that we believe this is always going to be impended in our lifestyles. 

Some little boys want to watch shit blow up and some little boys want to ride ponies and braid their mother’s hair. Some little girls like to play with dolls, others like to ride dirt bikes and race cars. So what. Does this make them any less of their own gender, or anymore of it?

Curiosity and self expression is natural to experiment. But what happens inside a human beings brain, for a thought to become more important than the credibility of a human life? At what extent does a point have to be made, to be proven? The dilliema is that we long to belong, our hearts long to love, but we are dissatisfied. We can’t feel safe because ultimately we are our own worst enemies. We feel guilty when we do something wrong because we should know better, and in most cases we are hypocritical to those who do the same actions as we do. It pisses us right off when we see a nervous nail biter, pen chewer, foot taper, or even that lazy asshole that drinks too much and cusses constantly. Have we done every single one of these things before? Probably, actually well, absolutely we have. Ironic isn't it. This creates pointless irritations and a buildup of steam in our heads that eventually make us explode. How many times have you wanted to scream and yell at the top of your lungs when your mother is consistently on you to clean your room, or make your bed? “I'll do it when I feel like it” or “It’s not dirty, I just cleaned it” or “I’m about to sleep in it later and mess it all the way up again, so why would I bother making it?” All extremely logical statements. What I’m convinced of is that these requests directed towards us are all relative to how we perceive our ego. Because in reality, making some sheets up probably wouldn’t take all that much time.. But the new Call of Duty video game isn’t going to play itself is it? One day your boss is going to do something that is extremely irate and obnoxious. Will you tell him/her it can wait until later, or will you finish it, be thorough, and collect your pay check at the end of two weeks. Once again, easier to say, harder to do. Not everybody that is an authority figure to you is going to be someone you absolutely love and respect. I guess this is where, “Welcome to the real world” is applicable.

We see how we react to people of inappropriate attitudes and behavior, and even the downright asses that surround us in everyday life. For some this 'front' gives them a personal sense of security. If they can downsize somebody else, they are sure to upgrade themselves in the process. I can promise you that at the end of the day, this will not fulfill the empty spot(s) in  a broken soul. A better approach and advantage to take is to the be the person that you would respect. An easily approachable individual promotes a much more comfortable atmosphere than an angry and insecure person willing to bulldoze anyone in his or her way to get to where they want to be. 

It is my hope that someday and somehow our civilization can be a peaceful and judgment free utopia. Mother Teresa constantly reminds me of the complex simplicity in this ideal. "What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family." We are surrounded by so many intelligent and creative individuals, capable of immense insight and love. I would rather love somebody for the respect and loyalty of a friendship in which they showed me, then hate them for what they decide to wear to school every day. I don’t remember being given the right to have this authority, so why must we insist on using it so constantly?  

We can look our worst enemies in the eye and see no possible chance of a soul. But internally everyone is dealing with struggle. Sometimes it’s not obvious and other times it is. But realistically they are just seeking a meaning for their heartache, struggle, and to take the pain away from themselves. They direct it forwardly on other people. Its with absolute certainty that love and the willingness to give and receive that feeling, is a passion. We all crave. What we need to do more is look our enemies directly in their eyes and deliver compassion. By showing love and compassion for somebody, even if you have no idea who they are, is the first step you can make to making a change.