Melt your armor

I am in fact one of those people that jots down memos, phrases, topics, ideas, conversations, and daily bits of information on any paper available to me at the time of inspiration. Which is more than often. 

For instance. I turned over a grocery store receipt today with the words,

 'Don't be afraid of your personality.'

To be extra honest, I have no idea how or when this sparked me, (By the date of my 30$ purchase, it states September 10th.) but as does all inspiration. Therefore, I feel compelled to discuss just what this means to me. 

It takes a lot of guts to believe you fit in, and if you don't, to understand and believe that as well. The most amazing feeling I have ever felt was the feeling of belonging. Being amongst people that loved, accepted, and appreciated me for every flaw and and fault of my character. Being mindful of this has only made me more thankful for my frail, fragile, and ferocious personality.

For me, it got to the point where I became exhausted, tired, and drained from covering up my personality in order to fit in. I wanted, I craved, and I needed to show whoever it was, who I really was, and how I became as passionate about life as I am. The armor, the tension and the invisible cloak I impulsively threw on when I was in front of a new crowd, became too heavy to carry. 

What a terrifying feeling. Not being comfortable with who you are, what you stand for, or what you believe in. 

In a world that's constantly molding your thoughts and shaping your being. Stretching your persona every which way..

Stand grounded.

Your mentality is yours to own. You are who you say you are. Even if no one else believes in that. Remember who you are, remember where you come from.  You are loved and you are important. Be strong, mindful, and do not fear your personality. 

I believe in mantra, kindness and karma.

I believe in honoring who YOU are.

the weekend welcomes you,

xoL

Be Still. Day One.

I started my 21 Day Meditation Challenge tonight, and successfully made it through a whole 10 minutes of personal silence.

One of the most seemingly difficult things I've ever done, which I mistakenly perceived to be 'a piece of cake.' 

No cake what-so-ever. 

However, it was beyond sensational. And post-awakening, as I lifted my eyelids open and came back in to the space, I was overwhelmed by the positivity and well-being that blanketed over me. Mind, body and soul. 

So what do I feel about myself? What are reoccurring things in my stressful thoughts?

My inspiration for this personal challenge, is based on my perception of an ideal well-being and lifestyle. I've come to realize that change is more than a thought. It is more than a hope. It is more than an internal desire.

It is a process that involves an incredible amount of time, energy, and difficulty. Positive change, is not necessarily easy. Like I have noted about my personality before, I consider myself an 'introverted, extrovert.' Specifically to me, this is a mix of desire in keeping my thoughts to my self, while wanting to share my thoughts to the world, at the same time. 

My passions don't make me a unique person. My ability to express them, without fear of judgment and despise, does. 

In self reflection, it’s interesting what you’ll find buried in your past if you search hard enough. Stories. Our lives are composed of wonderful stories. Ones we are scared to ever tell again, and some that we tell so often we simply will never forget. Since I was a little girl, I've had a driving passion to change something about the world. Headstrong and fearless, nobody could really tell me otherwise. As I’ve grown up I've learned that dreams are only dreams until you put forth the hard work and effort it requires to result in action. I've come to the conclusion that maybe changing the whole world is extreme. But changing lives isn't. Even if its just your own. To want to live better, healthier, longer, and with more drive, you radiate a reflection that others can't turn away from. I want to be a helping hand, a warm heart, a steady shoulder and a voice for those unable to use their own. Living in silence is a terrifying thing, as is reflecting in silence. Hence, meditation is scary and exhausting. Think of it as going for a long run, physically pounding the pavement, heavy breathing, just waiting to reach the finish line or counting the minutes till your desired time elapses. But after, the wave of positivity and gratefulness that flows through your body. You did  it. And although your tired, exhausted, and finished for the day. You feel great and alive. 

Without inspiration and having people who truly believed in my abilities, my dream to make a difference in the world would have never been an aspiration that I craved to reach. Passion and the opportunity of positive change are what drive me to believe the world would be such a better place if everyone used their hearts and minds to love and accept one another, as well as themselves. Let it be okay to let go and open your internal eyes, through your heart.

A few things to leave you with today.

Who are you? What do you want? What is your purpose?

P.S (The answers will be harder than you think.. 

And that's okay.)

xoL.

Join me on my challenge, and experience the benefits of internal reflection, silence, and positive change. http://www.chopracentermeditation.com/bestsellers/MEDITATION_WINTER_2012/register.asp

'Peace of mind, Peace on Earth'

Just remember, whenever possible, give people the benefit of the doubt.

I'm working on my patience, I'm working on my self-doubt. I'm working on me.

I am a work in progress.

Nowhere near perfect, nowhere near acceptable. 

Just in constant reflection of my capabilities, my limits, and the depth of my heart. 

If you like yourself, you're conceded. If you despise yourself, you're depressed.

Now honestly, 
tell me how people are supposed to be truly happy..? 

We must learn these things about ourselves, before we are capable of learning them about others. God is so simple. And, we, we are beyond complex. 

One of my favorite sayings is, 

'Keep calm in the center of the storm.'

Years ago, you couldn't convince me this was at all possible. But, beyond the people pleasing, the hatred, the betrayal, the heartache, the denial, and the chaos, I found a stable ground. A place where only I can go. A sacred and peaceful spot in my conscience, where I could freely believe in myself. That had no judgment, no shame. Just clarity. 

I don't know how I found it. But, I'm convinced we all find this little piece of heaven when we are ready and able to experience it's effects. 

A great trial in my life, was looking around at the world with all of its irony, drudgery, and betrayal. And knowing I was a contributor. 

A great satisfaction in my life, was realizing and accepting that life is scary as Hell. And none of your thoughts and actions can be taken back. Only accepted, and used for growth. 

The importance of a helping hand, a comfortable embrace, and a patient ear, is becoming more and more real to me.

Sometimes all someone really needs is for you to listen to them. Remember this next time your younger sibling is pestering you with busy and agitating conversation, or your old friend from high-school wants to meet up for a chat and coffee. Remember this next time you are begging God for a blessing or a sign that someone, somewhere out there, can possibly understand what you are going through. 

You never truly know the extent of someones storm.

Until you stop, look, and listen to the heavy rain.

At this point, you might just be able to find clarity in your own. 

xo. 

Antsy Addicts

In the wise words of Bobby Dylan himself,

“Sometimes you say things in songs even if there's a small chance of them being true. And sometimes you say things that have nothing to do with the truth of what you want to say and sometimes you say things that everyone knows to be true. Then again, at the same time, you're thinking that the only truth on earth is that there is no truth on it. Whatever you are saying, you're saying in a ricky-tick way. There's never time to reflect. You stitched and pressed and packed and drove, is what you did. It's peculiar and unnerving in a way to see so many young people walking around with cell phones and iPod's in their ears and so wrapped up in media and video games. It robs them of their self-identity. It's a shame to see them so tuned out to real life. Of course they are free to do that, as if that's got anything to do with freedom. The cost of liberty is high, and young people should understand that before they start spending their life with all those gadgets." 

I'm so freaking guilty.

Once upon a time, back in my college days,  I mistakenly forgot my trusty Blackberry on my walk to class from my residence. My first initial thought was 'How in the world will I make it today (4 hours) without tweeting/status creeping/texting/calling all these important people, that I truly know nothing about.' On the flip side of this, I was able to gaze at my fellow student body parading back and forth to their classes, heads down, in a trance with their newest form of technology. It was literally like a sea full of zombies. Nobody was interacting or communicating; except with their fingers and thumbs clicking away or their headphones on, zoned out to the world. I was appalled. Is this what I look like when I’m sending an important text that can’t wait? Or having a conversation that’s so much more important then saying a quick 'Hey' to a teammate on my way to class? 

We've become not just attached to our social media, but dependent on it. With what’s going on and what people are saying about others. From our apps on our brand new Iphones that have the potential to light a candle for us, we’ve become victims of an electronic world. We are our own apps, updating ourselves to the newer and the better. 


It was the famous Steve Jobs that assisted in the creation of Apple technology. I wish I could have conducted an interview with him to ask him if this is what he expected of our culture. This craze that has turned into a dependency. Or was it just a constructive idea to help with the development, the post modern term ‘making it new.’ Are we still making it ‘new’ or are we making it unreal. 

I forgot what it felt like to sit by a campfire, listening to a friend strum the guitar and sing a familiar tune. 
I forgot what it felt like to have a sit down lunch with an old group of friends the other week, and leave my phone in the car.
I forgot what it felt like to reflect, be by myself, and leave my functions, schedule, and responsibilities to themselves in my square little white box of electronic capacity.

It felt so freaking awesome.

“It’s not about pop culture, and it’s not about fooling people, and it’s not about convincing people that they want something they don’t. We figure out what we want. And I think we’re pretty good at having the right discipline to think through whether a lot of other people are going to want it, too. That’s what we get paid to do.”- CNN Money